Thursday, 19 July 2007

Light Bulb

Q. How many Bahá’ís does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Bahá’ís don't do that. They teach the light bulb and if it wants to transform, it'll change itself!

Thursday, 12 July 2007

Humour in context

Bahá'ís everywhere...Don't Eat Me...

A Bahá'í pioneer was trespassing through the jungle of some tropical country, when suddenly he found himself surrounded by naked men with bones through their noses, waving spears.
They tied him up and threw him in a stew-pot, then started piling firewood underneath. Drums sounded.
In desperation, the pioneer began reciting the "remover of difficulties" prayer. Suddenly the drumming stopped. One cannibal looked at another and said "Hey guys! I think we've just found the ninth member of our LSA!"

Top 9 rejected slogans for the national media ad campaign:

9. Give Us a Week, We'll Take Off the Prejudice
8. Did Somebody Say "Equality"?
7. I Can't Believe It's Not Buddhism
6. The Official Religion of Seals and Croft
5. Uniting the World, Since 1844
4. No Hidden Messages, Only Hidden Words
3. God Passes By, So Hop On
2. Where Do You Want To Be in the Next World?
1. Got Faith?

Top 9 signs it’s going to be a long feast:

9. Opening prayer is a Persian chant of The Tablet of Ahmad
8. "We'll now adjourn to the other room for a short video"
7. The refreshments have turned into dried fruit and iced tea
6. Treasurer pulls out a stack of easy to follow charts on "how to attain our goal"
5. "Please return to the first room for a translation of the video"
4. The children are leafing through the Persian prayer book
3. More people in the kids' room than at consultation
2. Everybody is volunteering to read the closing prayer
1. Feast begins exactly at 8....Persian time!

The top peril that can befall a Bahá’í traveler:

While in Tehran, saying, "Cab driver, to the Bahá’í Centre please."

Top 9 Golden Age Disney Remakes:

9. Herbie Goes on Pilgrimage
8. The Shaggy Auxiliary Board Member
7. James and the Giant Seeker
6. 9 Dalmatians
5. Snow White and the Seven Assembly Members
4. Honey I Shrunk The House of Worship
3. The Apple Dumpling Gang Pays Huqúqu’lláh
2. Beauty and the Feast
1. FAITHtasia >>


Ábdu’l-Bahá told a Bahá'í to prepare to go to India to teach the Faith. So he prepared by studying Indian culture, languages, etc. However, at the last minute, the Master changed his mind and decided to send him to America.
"But I thought I was going to India," said the Pioneer.
Ábdu’l-Bahá answered, "So did Columbus."

Top 7 least popular souvenirs:

7. Weathered and outdated "third most widespread religion in the world" buttons
6. Orange juice squeezer in shape of Indian House of Worship
5. Happy "End of Year of Patience" greeting cards
4. The "Dawn-Breakers" alarm clock with permanent preset to go off at 4:30 a.m. every morning
3. Car window sun shield marked: "Blocking everything except the Light of Guidance"
2. Compass with a "Q"- direction to the Qiblih
1. Complete video set of "The World Congress"- on beta

Travel Advice

Q. How did Ábdu’l-Bahá pay for his trip to America?

A. With MasterCard